Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
