I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
