Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
third nipple confirmed
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize