I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I know her cup size but not her name....
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