where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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