I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
