Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
