he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
