Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
