so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
