I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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