Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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