I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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