I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize