all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
