If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
the liver wants what the liver wants
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
