marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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