I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
