Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
