so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
