Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
