you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
