He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You smell like stripper and shame
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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