HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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