Screwed.edu
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
