It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
