do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
