Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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