tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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