So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
