woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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