I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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