yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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