I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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