I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
