the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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