I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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