You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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