dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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