after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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