God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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