I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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