i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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