I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
