Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
