yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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