I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I booty called her while she was in labor.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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