I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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