at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
