Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
