I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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