is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
