I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize