I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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