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she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
