i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
They are going to name an STD after you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
