so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
