Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
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I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
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You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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