Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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