it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize