just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
