So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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