hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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