How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
