so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
