somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
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did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
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Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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